so you’re gone about 3 days before I cave and text…just to “check in” and see how you’re doin. you respond…and we text back and forth for hours. we say “love ya” and “miss ya” and flirt like nothing’s changed. but everything’s changed. we both know that. seeing you this week felt like a punch to the gut. I had hoped I could be strong and make this a clean break, that things would just…taper off naturally. but seeing you just brought it all back. you avoiding my eyes told me you noticed it too. what are we supposed to do now? we can’t ever be together. we should have never even crossed the lines we did. but we did and now here we are.
soon your family will be moved up there with you, and things will really be forced to end. we’ll never see each other, and getting any private time to talk will be difficult, so we’ll probably just stop talking. eventually even our friendship will become a thing of the past. I can see it happening. Christmas will roll around, I’ll throw you the party I promised I’d plan, we’ll laugh, smile and have fun…and then, when you leave, we will say goodbye. and we both know this time it will be goodbye.
I love you. I doubt that will change, though I’m sure it will fade away like so many others. I will remember you fondly, and I’m sure you’ll always have a special place for me in your heart. but as far as our lives go…we don’t fit into each other’s in any way other than as friends. will that friendship stand the test of distance? it’s a tough bridge to gap…
someday we’ll meet again, and we’ll smile and joke and be buddies again. and I”m sure my heart will skip a beat, and I’ll avoid your eyes in case what I both want to see there more then anything, and never want to see there again is in them. but babe, when your family joins you up north, you and I both know it will be goodbye.
I just wish I knew if you regret that as much as I do.
I will never know though.
and I suppose, in the end, neither will you