I was doing so well. I was ready to accept myself the way I am. Then someone in my own family goes and tells my sister behind my back that they think I have gained weight. I don’t know if I have or not-but it didn’t matter until today when my sister told me this person said that. Thank you for destroying my ever fragile self-image. I have struggled for so long with the way I look. I am short and overweight. I have never thought that I am beautiful. I have two sisters who are both slimmer than I am and I am just so frustrated. I am so easily made to feel shabby. I just feel like a shabby person. And it hurts. Most people don’t know. I am such a cheerful person and I don’t talk about it much. My roommate knew-she could see that I struggled. My best friend knows because she struggles with it too. Why do I feel so shabby and pathetically ugly? It affects my motivation to work out. As weird as it seems, I am afraid of working out for the wrong reasons. I don;t want to do it because I want to be prettier. I want to want to work out to get healthy. I want to do it for the right reasons. I am just so tired of feeling fat and shabby. Even when I KNOW I am not ugly, I feel it.