I can’t figure out why I can’t get you off my mind, other than you are my first love.
You broke up with me a few days before my 18th birthday, you cheated on me, you shattered my heart and then continued to tell me it was all temporary.
Two and a half years later, I have though of you every, single, day. Every time you come to mind, my heart aches. I can’t stop thinking about the night before it all happened, the last words we said to each other on that snowy night “I love you”.
The other day we apologized to each other for everything we said and did, and a weight lifted off my shoulders. Today I ran into you at lunch, we spoke for a moment. You smiled and my heart melted just as it did the first time i saw you my freshman year, the same way it fluttered with our first kiss my junior year, then it broke; the same way it did my senior year.
I want so badly to be totally over you, but I’m scared I will never be. I have a boyfriend now who loves me, and makes it known every day we are together. He might actually be the one. Every time I think of you, I feel like I hurt my relationship now. I know you are not right for me; you don’t deserve me. I know we will never be together again; I don’t want to be. I love my boyfriend now and I know he treats me how I am supposed to be treated, he loves me the way I’m supposed to be loved. He is the most wonderful man in the world.
So why am I stuck on you? Why can’t you just leave my mind alone? I don’t want to see you smile in my head, or the way you used to look at me. I don’t want to hear those last words ringing in my ears “I love you”, because part of me still wishes they were true, but they aren’t.
I don’t love you anymore, I’m just stuck on you.