I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
but those words can never come out my mouth. i can’t tell you how i feel at all. i can’t tell you things i’ve told other people and i know it’s not because i don’t trust you, i do, but i get weirded out or shy or something. i wonder sometimes why you are my friend when your open and can tell me anything but when it comes to me tellin you things i can’t you literally have to beat it outta me. sometimes i wish you could just read my mind and my thoughts of what i think of you so those words never have leave my lips. i don’t know why but i can’t say a I LOVE YOU, you mean so much to me. I mean yeah if i txt or write it down then yeah but that’s different. out of all my friends it’s you i feel the most comfortable with but get weirded out and shy about everything. it doesn’t make any sense at all. I am not a touchy person at all but when it comes to you i just want to cuddle and talk about everything and anything but i can’t. i mean when we watch scary movies and we end up right next to each other and if my head touches your head it’s always on the back of mind saying your head is touching mine, she touching my hands. I get like panicky and want to move away but at the same time i feel safe and refuse to let myself move. i just keep sayin and thinkin she’s touchin me. i want to be open with you but it’s like when i try to say something that i’m feelin my mouth gets dry and i get tongue-tied and can’t say and i know it frustrates you but it frustrates me more. when we’re talking about what would happened if i died i said i feel like you wouldn’t care and you were like what nah i’d care alot, i’d miss you. it would be weird to not see and chill with you since we hangout all the time when you said you thought i wouldn’t care if you died i asked you why and you said cuz you don’t let people close to and you just don’t give a fuck. i said no i’d care, i would def care. then i tried to say i don’t think you know how much i care for you but those words never left my thought because i got tongue-tied or it’s like my mouth forgot how to work.
idk can anyone explain why i can’t tell her what i feel cuz i can’t figure it out