You are one of my biggest regrets and even thinking about it makes me want to cry a bit. I know it didn’t last long but it was the most significant relationship of my life. Although I will never understand why you left you will always have a special place in my heart and I will always stammer over your name and my heart will always skip a beat when I’ve thought I’ve seen you in the mall. It never has been you.
And I don’t know whether you realised it, but when you said that thing, that was the best and nicest and most meaningful thing anyone’s ever said to me. Somtimes when I’m having rough days I think of that and it cheers me up. Even now.
And I know it started too fast. We had not known each other even 24 hours before we had our first kiss. But those hours were enough. We spoke for hours and hours and you knew me. And I knew you.
Never has anyone felt so perfect for me than you.
And I was in a bad place in myself when it happened, and I know that you left because of how I was back then. I was trouble. But I am comforted by the thought that even how I was then, you saw through it at first and loved me for the real me.
And I can’t help regretting that we didn’t end up together. I am being brutally honest by saying that no-one since has matched you. I hope someone someday will.
This letter is a goodbye. I know now, that however right it felt, it is not going to happen. Ever since it ended, the deepest part of my heart still wondered if we still might end up together. Others said it. But love, a lot of time has passed now, and I am leaving next year.
You’ve had time to find me.
Now I must say goodbye.
But know this: you saved me. Thank you.