• you should have cared

    by  • July 14, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 1 Comment

    To this day, I am still confused as to what happened between us. One minute, we were best friends, poorly concealing our feelings for each other, and the next, you refused to look me in the eye. It all happened so fast, and I still haven’t gotten an explanation from you.

    I had a feeling you started to see me as more than a friend. You would make excuses to talk to me more frequently, and you kept glancing at me in class. When you finally told me how you felt, it was like a light switched on in me. Of course, how could I not see that I obviously had feelings for you too? I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, I know that it must have hurt you. But once I told you how I felt, things were perfect. It seemed like this step was inevitable, far overdue. For a week, I thought of you all the time, we would catch each other’s eye in class and immediately smile. We weren’t hiding it anymore, either. And then, within just one day, everything went wrong. Over spring break, we finally showed each other how we felt physically, and it felt right to me. I was ecstatic, and you seemed to be too. But when I talked to you about it 2 days later, something had changed. I asked you how you felt about me, and your responses were short and blunt. You told me that you saw me as nothing more than a friend.

    I’m not sure if you understood that I had recently had my heart broken, and you were the first guy that I let myself like again. I told you I was fine, which was true after a few days. I got over it, as long as we could be close again. But then, a rumor spread. And for some reason that I still don’t understand, you believed it. It was a rumor that tore us apart. You refused to look at me for a month. My best friend ignored me, was cold to me. You made no effort to talk to me about the rumor. So I’m assuming that our friendship couldn’t have meant much to you in the first place. I tried so many times to talk to you about everything, but you were cold and indifferent. You made the choice to cut me out of your life. The fact that we have every class together will make things much more tense. Everyone can tell. It effects many people, in case you didn’t realize.

    I’ve apologized for a rumor that isn’t true. I’ve apologized for the way things turned out between us. But it is apparent to me that you are not willing to put in the same effort. So I will pretend as if you don’t exist, I will forget you completely. Even though doing so will feel like a knife stabbing into me, I want you to believe that I’m happy. I’ll put a smile on my face and move on. If you want me in your life, let me know.

    One Response to you should have cared

    1. beara
      July 15, 2011 at 2:23 am

      Why hide it yourself? Why not ask if they know. They may not. A lot of people hear things and avoid them because they don’t want to hear it from them. They want to hear it from you. This person may have no idea. Why is everyone so shy to talk now days.. say something and not just let it fix it self. Speak up.

    Leave a Reply