• To my best friend

    by  • July 14, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 2 Comments

    Things are starting to get awkward and I don’t know if remaining friends with you is for the best for either of us. I have come to think of you as my soul sister and it is going to hurt for me to make this break. But it is something I know I have to do. I’m sorry. I am not sure how to make the break, I suppose I can just start ignoring your calls and your texts like you did with your previous best friend, like you tried doing with me on a few occasions. I’m still not sure why you did that to her… maybe it was because she put things in your head that you would rather ignore, you once told me she was an intuitive person.

    I don’t like the way you used me by telling your boyfriend I said something I didn’t actually say… it makes me wonder what else you might have told him that was not true. You told me that he said it was a mean thing to say…you made me look like a bad person to him. That hurts more than you will ever know. You said yourself that he doesn’t like us hanging out because he thinks I put bad things in your head… because you let him think I put those things in your head. I find that ironic because of how close him and I used to be.

    You have to know that what happened between your boyfriend and I deeply affected both of us. I think you saw the way it affected us and I think you found yourself wanting to have that kind of connection with him and you are angry because you can’t find it. I think you also wanted to hurt me at times when you liked to brag about the ways you two might be soulmates… you even went as far to tell me he gave you a card that said you were his soulmate. When you told me that sometimes you can’t figure out if he is talking to you or the crowd and that sometimes you’re not sure what you are hearing when he mumbles things under his breath, I understood you completely because that is what he does/did to me on several occasions… I think you were trying to get a reaction out of me with that one, I think you said it because you know that is what he did with me. There is more I could tell you about what he did do but some things are better left unsaid… even anonymously… but he did let me know in his own way, without really saying it out loud, that what happened affected him too. I think you saw how it affected both of us and I don’t think you liked how close we were because of it. Things are awkward between him and I now that everyone knows… I feel like we lost our closeness because we feel like we have to hide it… that should make you happy… but it makes me sad. I miss the closeness we once had and I don’t like all the awkwardness of it all. For this reason I think I need to step out of his life as well. I need to let you two work on your problems and figure out where you are going with your relationship without being a problem.

    I don’t think he is or has ever physically cheated on you and I promise you that if he did it was not with me. He loves you. I have never tried to get you to leave him… NEVER. I have listened to your woes and the only advice I gave you was the advice you were giving yourself… so in essence I guess I did tell you to take your own relationship advice.

    2 Responses to To my best friend

    1. lucy
      July 14, 2011 at 2:16 pm

      You are beautiful

    2. AF
      July 14, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      *hugs you*

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