I keep seeing you outside. Again and again and each time I panic. I sputter, I sweat, I lose track of time. I feel terrified that you’ll come into the store and interact with me. you’ve seen me at my absolute weakest, and I thought I was finally rid of this paranoia, but it still lays dormant in my system. I don’t even know why I’m still freaked out at the prospect of talking to you again. It was over 3 years ago. We’ve both moved on.
But the last we did see of eachother, I was miserable and weak. Perhaps that’s where the fear kicks in. I silently strive to prove I’m better off without you. That I’ve matured so much. We can coexist on this planet now.
It was an awful distraction from my job. Until I got a message from my new girlfriend. That snapped me back to the present. Slapped me out of the clouds. She is proof itself that I’ve matured and moved on.
I found a quote today that pertains. Stop thinking of the past, it’s gone. Don’t fear the future, it hasn’t even arrived yet. Live in the present and make it beautiful. So if you do walk through my door today, and if we do speak, I’ll be ready. I won’t have to brace myself, won’t have to psyche myself up to have courage. Because we’re two people in the same building, that is all. I’m sure that’s all the proof you could ever need. And if it isn’t, it isn’t. My time is served.