• Happy Anniversary, I guess.

    by  • July 14, 2011 • Loneliness • 0 Comments

    Happy 8 month anniversary! Lol.

    Like the last 7 months, we aren’t together to celebrate. The only difference is, instead of being 300 miles apart, we’re 3000. And instead of me having a semblance of a social life (key word: semblance), you’re the one partying it up. And I keep telling myself you deserve it. Last semester was hell for you– your mom’s an emotionally abusive bitch and you were stuck home while all your friends were away at college. Trust me, I know how it feels.

    But see, the difference is, I had *time* to think about you. You don’t have a minute to think about me. [I find it very difficult to believe that you worry about me constantly, when you can barely find it in yourself to call, or even text]. I’d ask you for 20 minutes of your week, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Probably because that sounds so pathetic. 20 minutes a week for a long-distance relationship? How on earth do you expect to make this work when you can’t make the time for me!?

    I don’t call because I don’t know when’s a good time for YOU. The texts I send don’t get much of a response, if any at all. I felt better talking to you on the phone the other day, the first time our conversation reached the double digits in what, a month? Oh, and you were sober. Congrats.

    On top of it all, I have to read your status updates about how fucking awesome your life is, how wonderful your coworkers are, etc. etc. etc. Shove it in my face a little more, why don’t you? I’m not INVOLVED in your life. You don’t have a girlfriend, you have the idea of one. And whether you like it or not, you love the idea more than you love me.
    It’s our anniversary, and I sent you a letter. Inside there’s a bunch of romantic shit about how wonderful you are, yada yada yada. But it was mostly just words, I think.

    In reality, I’m not sure what to think.

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