• Dear Evan,

    by  • July 14, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Closure • 2 Comments

    I think about you everyday, I thought I have moved on, I believe everyday that I have moved on. I found someone knew, someone that is completely opposite from you, I thought it would help out emotionally. It isn’t helping at all, I tell everyone constantly that I have no feelings for you, including myself. I lie to myself everyday and I don’t like that I am doing that. I love you, I wish you would understand that, I know that you love me too, you even told me that night when you ended everything between us. Why would you tell me that? Of course I am going to keep chasing after you knowing that you still love me. We have had a thing for four years now, how do you expect me to get over all of that? You were my first love, I know I wasn’t yours, so I know you don’t understand exactly what it is I am feeling. I tried completely taking you out of my life and all those times it never worked, I just kept coming back. After four months of our relationship being ended I found someone, someone that is completely opposite from you, someone of whom I really like, but of course you’re getting in the way, you’re always on my mind and I can’t stand it. I am pathetic because I spend my time looking up how to get over your first love and the answers are always the same, but you’re out of my life, we don’t talk, we have no contact with eachother, but for some reason I am still not over you, I still harbor the same feelings for you that I have always had for you for four years now. I’m so lost and so sad, I want to be able to be over you, but I can’t find myself to actually be able to get over you. I love you, I wish everyday that you would come back, I know that time will never come. I don’t believe in wishing anymore, wishes never come true. I remember that night we stayed up the whole night and when it hit 11:11 we both made wishes and without knowing it we both made the same wish, we wished to be together, and I mean actually be together, living together, having a wonderful future. Wishes don’t always come true, but I was so sure that ours would, our love was so strong, I don’t understand how it came to be this. I’m just a girl, a stupid girl that can’t get over you. I hope you’re happy, I just want you to be happy, even if I’m sad. Honestly, just be happy. Please don’t forget about me though, I love you and I just hope you’re happy. This letter is closure for me, as it was obvious that it was needed.


    2 Responses to Dear Evan,

    1. Kirsty
      July 14, 2011 at 2:24 pm

      Feeling exactly how you are right now and it’s horrid. I hope you get through ok, because I know how rotten the struggle is.

    2. Me
      July 15, 2011 at 12:58 am

      It sucks, it seriously fucking sucks, I hate love and the pain that you have to put up with to get to love, and I mean actual love, all you can do is stay strong and know that there is someonne out there for you, someone that actually deserves you and someone that you deserve.
      Stay strong <3

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