It’s funny how short of a time it takes for you to return to me and bring back all of these memories I had thought buried underneath pounds of worries and new beginnings.
All the crazy things we did, those time when you’d call me late in the night to talk to me because to you I was the only person you could rely on. The slurry words that would come out your mouth when you were falling asleep, the drunken calls you’d give me to tell me those three words; I love you.
And yet I wonder, if a drunken person becomes honest when alcohol is its system, could this mean you were being honest?
I remember you texted me that you loved me more than I thought you did and I frightened because the last thing I wanted from you was to fall for me.
You called a while after telling me you cared about me a lot more than I thought, that you weren’t getting drunk because of me, but honestly; I know you were. Your friend took your phone away and I could overhear you saying let me talk to her while your friend would tell me you were drunk because of me.
It hits me now that back then I didn’t honestly care because my eyes were set on someone else even though my heart had been always set on you.
All these memories have left me unable to sleep for these past three days. It took you one month to come back again, and it seems we’re back to the beginning. I’ve met someone else to try and move on and forget you since you made it so clear that this -us- couldn’t be. You come back to me saying the same unfinished sentences you always restrict from finishing, saying that I have to discover all that you have left undiscovered but the truth is it is all been discovered, just not firmly admitted.
I cannot lie, I still think of you in the darkest of my mind and I miss you like hell now more than I ever did, because you keep me remembering everything that was but never will be, because you keep putting a hold onto as if I was the cure and the curse to your heart.
For once I wish you would say it all, admit it and hold me tight; embrace me because I can see you are dying to do it every time you look into my eyes, you love me but you dare not say it.
For once I wish you would let it all flow onto you and feel everything I once felt for you and take me in while you still have a chance..
I dreamt of you crying, saying how much you love me and you know what they say about dreams; if you dream it more than once, it may be set to happen; so please, happen already, I want to hear those words come out of your lips.
Don’t keep coming back to me, if your only purpose is to awaken me but leave me to die…. Take your sorrowful goodbyes with you and leave if you only come back for this.
Make up your mind or I will make it up for you..