Three months ago I drove over eight hours to see you. You knew I was clinically depressed and struggling in school and with friends and yet…We walked around the mall and you told me all about your new life. And never once asked about mine. We’ve been best friends since highschool and since you’ve completely ignored me since that day I’m not sure how to explain to you how you broke my heart. I needed you. You let me down. Then a couple days ago you showed up at my church like there was nothing wrong. Like everything was peachy and what was I supposed to do, push you away when you reached for a hug? I’m not that strong. But I don’t have to initiate contact with you. You can come to me. And you damn well better have a good excuse. A reason.
I’ve probably gone to text you a hundred times, call you even more, in the past two weeks. The first two months were easy…But now time is telling how wrapped up in you my heart became. And still is. I still think about you. Too much. I miss you. I wish you could know without thinking it meant more. I need you to know I still love you and always will. I miss my best friend from college. It’s hard to think that after that first night in your car on the way to IHOP we would ever end up where we were, and where we are now. I miss being loved. No one else has been able to compare to you.
I’m ready to stop trying now.