i wish i never would have said
‘i hate you’ before.
because now it doesn’t hurt you
like i want it to when i mean it.
it doesn’t make your blood stop
in your veins. or your heart skip
a beat. or your mind go blank
only later to be filled with questions.
no. that has passed with repetition.
but now, you need someone to tell you
they hate the person you’ve become.
that phrase needs to sink deep in to your skin
and make you reassess the person you are.
the decisions you make. the things you say.
but as much as you need to understand
the full meaning of ‘i hate you,’
i need you to too.
because maybe then you’ll see that i really don’t. yet.