You know, I never believed in love at first sight.
I still don’t, just for the record.
I do, however, believe in love at first day-spent-together-in-complete-bliss.
Not the sexual kind of bliss, not even the I-know-you-so-well-it’s-scary kind of bliss. It’s not the kind of bliss that comes with time or patience; its just the happy giddiness of finally meeting that person that I clicked with on almost every level.
I love you. And these past few months have been some of the happiest, and most truly wonderful of my life (even when you’re testing my temper for the fun of it). I could easily watch Harry Potter movies, eat mint-oreo milkshakes and have conversations in ridiculous high-pitched voices with you for the rest of my life, and never get bored or fat, because I’d be laughing so much.
I love you. I’m really glad that I can say that so much too. You know my past, you know that I’ve never dated someone who was open about his emotions, so the fact that you’re the one who instigates the “tough stuff” conversations is amazing.
Yes, I will follow you to the end of the earth and futher, why do you ask? You would do the same? Splendid!
I never realized how hesitant and fearful of rejection I was until I met you; you, who talks about shyness and hesitancy, are able to tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me! Shy is definitely not what I would call you. Perhaps quiet, but not shy.
I’ve told you this, that I love you so much, that I want to marry you and have your children and live in a city then live in a suburb and be old and fat and wrinkly with you. I’ve told you that.
But to be honest, I just want to world to know that good people are out there. I’ve had my heart broken very profoundly, by both friends and partners; inconsistent emotionality is common in my past relationships.
But I found Chris, and with that I found my hope in people. I am a believer in the goodness of people, because of him. That people can change, that people can be kind and good and sometimes angry and complex and just plain confusing, that people are inherently good creatures; all this I learned from my relationship with the love of my life.
So, girls and boys with broken, angry-sad hearts, this letter is really for you, more than for me or for him (even if he’s going to read this soon).
If a completely insane (laugh-til-you-cry, insane I mean) girl like me– one with flaws and goodness just like everyone else–can find someone who is just as flawed and good (in complementary ways) as myself, then there’s hope for anyone.
People are weird; you just need to find your particular favorite flavor of weirdness. I found mine.
I love you.