i feel stupid. i’m thinking about you too much. i know i shouldn’t, i said i was gonna take it easy and just enjoy it for ‘what it is’ not what i wanted it to be, what it could be. but at the same time you kept demanding more from me, trying to reveal me raw, luring me into it. then i actually give in and now you’re nowhere to be seen. what happened to me with you was beyond amazing you helped me love myself, you gave me that extra push that i’ve been needing for so long. you whispered j’taime into my ear one night and that’s when my heart started breaking, because that’s when i knew, you’ve said it all before. so while i’m here world essentially rocked by you, you’re just playing the game. i try and comfort myself saying “no i’m special, i know i’m special, and he MUST think i’m special, that this is real, that we are wonderful”. yet you give me no good reason to believe that. your words are hollowed out by your actions. all the while i pine for you, i yearn for you, waiting for you to…pick me, and give me what’s real. when you whisper sweet nothings into my ear, it’s exactly what i want to hear, red flag, no guy is that good. catch 22 though, i’m still gonna wait around, see if you decide to really care, cuz i’m special, we’re special. you get me every time.