• snow

    by  • July 11, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    for the person i hope and don’t hope writes almost every letter on here directly to me. know there is explanation. we can be asses as men but it’s usually from pressure not from you. but you are what we have and hold in our heart a feeling that things you’re strong enough to hear everything and feel everything and still be that woman who comes up and just hugs you and says it’s ok and let us cry on a shoulder.

    too many woman have just got so strong in my eyes that i feel the roles have changed. woman is so strong now. and man is so weak from years of a bad story being told. i don’t think we have evolved to this as a gender yet. we wish we could never say a bad word, we wish we could never hold a bad dream. but sometimes we do only cause we feel as if it’s that 1930’s picture of an old couple in a log cabin. the woman is standing in the home crying. the man comes in hugs her and says nothing to worry about my love. and the pain washes away.

    now it seems as if the man is sitting on a couch alone or silently wanting to speak something to ease the pain. wanting that comfort that is so desperately wanted by him as the woman wanted earlier in the story. but just does nothing knowing that love that he sees in someone is behind a fence. and a smile is all you can feel with a fence in the way and that just is not the hug that was of the past.

    so many of the stories i read here are just so 2 sided story that it makes me sad. makes me wonder how easy your mate’s heart would be if you did send these letters. this is usually all that would be needed to drop anyone to a knee in pain and sorry for what he didn’t know you felt.

    if i heard these words come from someone at i would pass out from the amount of pounds taken off my body of dead love and untouched emotions.

    how many of you have known someone who has committed suicide? over love? or one of the stories you read on here that sound so familiar to you that you don’t know if it happened to you or someone else? i’m sure i could point out 2 people from my life that if these type of words, love and kindness that you mostly speak of in so many letters, that a gun would have went down. a life would have been saved.

    how about being a friend if you know is hurt? why is it the up to the other person? it’s not to late for so many. it’s just the right time. 5 minutes of smile can change a person from pulling back the hammer to smiling. if you hurt them again later well guess what, you seen them smile before they did themselves in. is that not a better memory to have of someone you CARE SO DEEPLY FOR?

    I’M waiting to hear these words myself…. will it happen? i don’t know, but it is very clear to the other party my heart still pounds waiting for those words. and a pound of a heart is louder than a pound of a drum or sound of a horn at a funeral. and depending on how low that person is the heart may even been louder than the child’s laughter of seeing happiness.

    can you at least say you were happy for the snow when you asked for it? can you take the time to work on a better life with someone to ease the pain even if it’s 1 second before you planned on doing it? don’t wait no longer. most of you have so much to say, and so little you need to say to make it all just go away. and little by little keep bring up that spirit and smile and it will go full circle.

    trust can be rebuilt. if you rebuild yourself and help the other rebuild also. you become two new people who are stronger and wiser but rebuilt on each other’s mutual love and respect and show of it. not the blinde trust you hope is going to be with the new person to usually be let down time and time again.

    it snowed for a reason,
    you don’t get the great news and the worst news at the same time for no reason.

    will it take a life time to listen to the signs from the one you know up above wants you to be happy? and being a shoulder is what you do 2nd best on this planet. a shoulder that forms in a bed so perfectly or a shoulder that is perfect level for a chin that needs that friend that is being turned off. jealous of everyone else having that shoulder makes mean words and a sad mind wander.

    never did it wandered in the morning while the innocent was in still growing inside you and wake up to look over and have a suprise of both waking up at same time to lock eyes and show the heart that is in you that i know you want to show but don’t know why you can’t.

    tell me how to apologize for something that i think is true and that i’m fighting for what i want. no matter who’s standing in the way…including you. so yes, angry and frustrated i get for chasing a dream. just as you do when you don’t get your parts. :/ dreams crushing feel the same. no matter the dream.

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