• Running scared.

    by  • July 11, 2011 • Fear • 5 Comments

    In front of you i’m so calm and collected.
    I make you believe that i’m alright.
    I make you think i trust you completely.
    You ask me what’s wrong, i say nothin and smile. And amazingly you believe me. I guess what they say is true….”A smile covers everything.”

    But in reality, i’m so scared, i’m depressed, i’m sad, i hate you, i love you, and mostly…. i’m angry. It’s like i can’t get what i want no matter how hard i work for it.

    The things i’ll never say to you are the things that cut me so deeply.
    Every day that goes by, I question whether you’re really mine.
    I question if i’m pretty enough, or if you think i’m good enough for you.
    I shouldn’t question these things but in all honesty, you scare the hell out of me.

    I don’t really know if i can trust you when i’m not around. When you’re at the bar and you don’t call or text for hours on end. I sit around my room wondering whether you’re with a BITCH or not.

    Some people say trust is everything. But trusting someone is a scary thing. How can i trust you when you’ve broken my heart so many times, and left me for SOME FUCKING WHORE!! Bitch said she was pregnant so u “had to b wit her” how does that even work??? If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me in the first place. You should have talked to me about it, and been like “hey babe, when we were broke up i fucked up, and this chick said she’s prego.” I’m alot more calm than you tend to believe.

    To this very day, i still want to beat the FUCK OUT OF THAT SLUT! And i will too. If i see her out, i’ll kill her.
    Every girl thats ever hugged you, they held my whole life in their hands. You’ve had my heart, & i don’t even think you realize it.

    You don’t come around my house. We’ve been doin this for over a year now. And you’ve yet to come spend time wit me, my friend, and my parents. It’s like you’re scared i’ll hurt you like SHE did. But i told u “I’ll never hurt you, I’ll never leave you for anyone” And to this day i mean that.

    I wish i could ask you about that girl. You know the one that’s “beautiful”. I wonder at night if you think i’m as pretty as her….You talk to her like she’s a goddess. AND SHE’S YOUR FRIEND’S old lady! what the fuck is that?! Isn’t there like guy code or some shit??

    I wish you could feel what i feel for one day.

    I wish you could see what i see for one hour.

    I wish you could look into my heart for just one minute.

    I wish you could walk a mile in my shoes. Even just for one second.

    5 Responses to Running scared.

    1. well
      July 11, 2011 at 9:41 am

      dude sounds like a douche bag.

    2. Talented
      July 11, 2011 at 10:27 am

      I think you are very talented and should take up writing as a career if u havent already.

    3. July 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

      Thanks guys. I just dont know what to do about it anymore

    4. well
      July 12, 2011 at 8:56 pm

      dump his douche ass and get a better bf?

    5. July 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      idk why but i cant leave him. i love him too much….

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