• Over

    by  • July 11, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 1 Comment

    My heart hurts. I didn’t think it would hurt so much. I only knew you for 4 months, but it was a feeling like i never experienced in meeting a new person. We hung out all the time, chatted every day. However, I was just as excited as i was afraid. My fear came from our compatibility, how i felt in my heart. I thought you were my soulmate. I tend to get frightened when things go well. You were also in pain, and i thought when you healed your wounds you would flee. You did, but i know that i contributed to that. I allowed my fear to take over me, and i became needy, and worried, and withholding. I felt so close to you, and you me, but you are someone who embraces the risk that it involves, and i am someone who trembles in front of it. I did ridiculous things, awkward things. I saw my self-sabotaging ways push you further and further away. I thought i would be okay if it faded, and i was far from right. It was awful for me, yet a relief for you. I only see how you are from your posts, what a sad climax to a poor and slow decline. I should not have been so difficult to makes friends with someone. It is not to be so hard. I understand me now more, and why i am so afraid. I have witnessed the shame i have, that halts me from being open. I have eradicated that, and now i am so much closer to myself-more than i have ever been. I can’t even imagine how you must view me, i shudder that you saw me unravel! I unraveled right in front of you.

    We have not spoken in nearly 3 months, have not seen each other in 4. It is way over, yet the effects continue to evolve. Now, finally they are something brighter.

    One Response to Over

    1. Anon
      July 11, 2011 at 4:13 pm

      Send this.

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