I hate what I’ve done to you. I feel like I hurt and betrayed you, yet you assure me that I did nothing wrong. My only fault, you said, was my child-like faith that all people are good and that friends don’t betray you. Perhaps, maybe it was a lack of courage or mental clarity. No matter what, you assured me that it wasn’t my fault. Still, you’re hurt and I should’ve stopped it.
It baffles me that you can be so kind and caring and wonderful, even when most guys wouldn’t be, and yet, you question why I love you. I love you because even at my very worst you comfort and assure me. Even when I don’t deserve it, you love me. So, I hate myself for being part of the reason why you are in pain.
I screwed up. I screwed up big time. I couldn’t even blame you if you were mad, which you aren’t. No, it’s far worse- you doubt how much you can trust me. I hate this stupid situation and I hate that stupid guy, but you’re right. Sometimes part of trust, is being able to trust someone to make the right decisions and I didn’t. I made a mistake.
You’ll barely even let me call it a mistake though. You’re livid, but not at me- at him. I’m glad because he either has to be an asshole or an idiot to have made me feel so used and think that I would be okay with it. Thank you for caring and understanding and making me feel a little bit better about myself. Thank you for being my best friend and for being a part of my life.
Boyfriend, I don’t even know what else to say except the things I’ve said to you a million times before. I love how when I fall asleep on your couch, you carry me to your bed and tuck me in. Remember that time you made me soup, because I was cold from a walk that I’d needed to escape the stress of everything in my life. Talking to you is often the highlight of my day, because I know that I can tell you anything and you’ll still care about me.
You’re the coolest person I know. I love spending time with you. You’re my best friend, I love you and I think you’re exceptionally attractive. Also, you smell really good. I’m sure that I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you. I mean, what I’ve just described is near perfection. Perhaps, you’re a bit disorganized. You aren’t very good at saying how you feel either, but you’re exceptional at showing those feelings. I’m completely in love with you. I don’t even know what else to say except, again, I love you and thank you.