Once again I’m writing you a letter. A letter you’ll never see. Hell you might never see me again, and that breaks my heart. Even though I know it is for the best. You’ve been the spark in my life, the person that starts the fire. You’ve pushed me to be more and then pushed me beyond that. Our friendship was something else. Our relationship, well it fell apart. It is mostly my fault. Well it is mostly my past’s fault. And you tried to deal with that, gods all I love you for that. You tried to be my salvation. And in a roundabout way you are. You pushed me to take care of myself and now I’m finally starting to. My life is coming together, and it is totally worth it.
I hope and pray that you will get to see the end result of all your hard work. I promise you it will be more then worth it. Hell two sessions of therapy and I already notice a change. I really wish you were here to see it too.
I think of you often. I reflect on my behavior and I want you more because you tried to help, you just didn’t have the skills. I try to get you out of my head so if you leave I wont feel as shitty. It still hurts though. I truly hope that you will walk back into my life. You are the love of my life and I miss you. I truly hope that things work out between us and this period of darkness is just a moment in time.