• And to think I trusted you…

    by  • July 11, 2011 • Betrayal • 0 Comments

    To my father, step-father, and mother,

    There are so many things that I would want to say to you in person, but Lord knows that’s never going to happen. Even if I did have the guts, you wouldn’t listen to me anyways.

    First off, I would like to address my sperm donor. You may call yourself my father, but you are nothing of the sort. Why? Because fathers don’t leave their family. No matter what. A father’s job is protect them but you weren’t there for me when your little girl needed protecting. I cried for you during my time of need, but you never came. And that’s something that won’t be forgiving for a long time.

    Next, my step-father. You were the one who told me that you would never hurt me; that I was always safe in your hands. But the only thing you did with your hands was molest me. You ruined my childhood and abused your right as a guardian. But worst of all, you made me believe that fathers do it all the time.

    Last but certainly not least, my mother. But you were never really my mother, were you? You are the worst out of all three of you. You never loved me or cared for me. You were supposed to be there for me when I told you what your beloved husband did to me. But what did you do? You slapped me across the face, called me a bold face liar, and left. And when your precious husband went to jail, you told me it was my fault. I guess everything is my fault though. It’s my fault your wonderful marriage fell apart. It’s my fault you started hitting me when you were angry. It’s my fault your unborn baby died. It’s my fault you couldn’t pay the bills. It’s my fault your life is miserable… I just don’t understand. You always tell me how worthless, stupid, fat, selfish, and how I would never amount to anything. You drilled it into my head and now I believe it too. Why can’t you be like a normal mom? A mom that would have divorced her corrupt husband faster than you could say ‘I love you.’ A mom that would get her daughter help when she’s trying to commit suicide. Quite honestly, I think you were afraid…or maybe that’s what I wanted to believe. I just want you to love and be proud of me.

    For years, I faked my smile to pretend I was happy, I kept the secrets of my past hidden, and told the world I was perfect. But I’m not doing it anymore. Maybe one day I’ll send this letter to you. Maybe…

    Sincerely, the little girl you forgot.

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