• A Love Not Meant to Be (Letting go)

    by  • July 11, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    Dear M,

    In a way it seems like I’ve known you forever. We lost touch and found each other again. We are such good friends and I love you so much more than you’ll ever possibly know. I love you in ways that I can’t tell you because of the way our lives our this go around — it just wasn’t meant to be. But when I tell you that ‘I love you’ every night when we sign off from talking to each other I mean it on more than just a friendly level. I just can’t tell you that…because I’d lose you, for sure and I won’t risk what I can have with you. I’d rather be miserable for the rest of my life than to lose one of my best friends.

    “I memorized all the words for you
    But if you only knew
    How much that’s just not like me
    I wait up late every night
    Just to hear your voice
    But you don’t know that’s nothing like me

    You know I wonder how you already figured out
    All these things that I try to hide
    All this time I’ve been hoping you don’t find out
    All these things that I hide on the inside

    I can’t be held responsible
    This is all so new to me
    Just when I think I’m invincible
    You come and happen to me” (part of Invincible by Crossfade)

    You know me so well you always know when I’m having a bad day. You see through me to the person I am on the inside, the person that I hide from the world. I let you in…I cherish the fact that I can talk to you about anything and you will give me an honest answer; might take some coaxing sometimes but I will get an honest answer from you. “I wish I could see my strength…just as you see it.” (unknown)

    You woke up the past in me and I remember so much and it makes my soul and heart ache for you. I long for what we once had and I wonder how I could have planned my new life (talking about past lives) and not included you in it in a more romantic role…I guess I should be glad that I included you in this life at all, because I have you I just can’t hold you…and I need to let you go. I need to let go of the past and look to the future and be thankful for what I have with you; a loving and caring friend.

    So I am letting go of the past and looking to the future and moving on. I am cherishing my friendship with you and loving you in the capacity of a friend. Just know that I do love you, and I am here for you always and I will do anything for you — if you ever need me all you have to do is call my name.

    I love you so very much!

    Love,
    M

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