You told me you loved me then asked me if I was freaking out. I told you I wasn’t, but the truth is, maybe I was freaking out a little. I don’t know why I’m holding back. Well, yes I do. I’m holding back because of him. It’s all his fault that I’m messed up in the head. You have no idea how badly he hurt me, the number of times he broke my heart. Every scar I have came from him. He taught me all about putting up walls and never showing emotion. He taught me that when I put my heart out in the open, it gets stepped on. So I learned to hide it all away.
You’re so honest. And genuinely nice. I love the way you interact with your family. I love your family, period. I love the way you hold my hand, just to be closer to me. I love your laugh, your smile, your eyes, your text messages. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you too.
You make me want to open up. I’m still working on it, but I know I’ll get there. I know someday you’ll ask me what’s on my mind and I’ll have no reason not to tell you. I know I can do it as long as I have you.