I hope you don’t think these are weird, because they’re actually quite nice to write.
Ha, who am I kidding? You’ll think I’m a creep when you read these. If you read these.
Anyways, I read your letter for the 4th time since you gave it to me.
Once when you chucked it at me at the corner of my street and rode away with no further explanation.
Next that same day when I was depressed as a dead horse (which I assume is very sad).
About a month or two after that when I was cleaning out my drawer full of crap that I can’t seem to get rid of but don’t have a place for. That’s where your letter is. In my misfit things drawer.
And lastly, today. My friend bailed on me for 20 bucks and I had been in a good mood all week because of my plans. I remember when you used to be that go-to friend when I desperately needed something to fill my day and leave me knowing that I didn’t waste my time. But now, I’m just here. Cruising along, singing a song only I can hear. Living this life that’s only mine once, dear.
I read that letter thinking it would make me sad enough that I wouldn’t want to go anywhere anymore and that I would be content with chilling at home and throwing a little pity party for myself, but I actually felt happy. Like I was such a lucky girl to be loved so much. Except why did I feel that when your words were, “leave me alone”, and, “I don’t want to talk to you ever again”?
Because i’m insane.
I wish I could just fall for someone already, so I could have a fresh story and perspective on things like love and life, and the world and how it sucks or doesn’t. Oh, and just to have it in writing, I did love you. Up until the second you told/ sent a message to my cellular device with the fact that you had done drugs and had sex a couple of times and gone to a bunch of parties since you told me the truth. That killed me. And I know you meant for it to cut deep, which bothers me the most. Usually you shoot for where it’ll hit me hard and miss, but my head’ll still get the point, but this time, you hit your target right between the eyes. But because I’m stupid/smart I’ll forgive you.
Anyways, my friend told me she saw you running down the street a couple of weeks ago with a milk jug in your hand. I thought that was really funny, even though I blew it off in front of her like I didn’t give a crap what you were buying at circle k (which, by the way, will be going bankrupt soon because of my abseces there due to my fear of seeing you).
See you soon?
Hah. Who am I kidding?