My mind is messed up. It’s been fucked and screwed with too many times. No one but me knows how messed up i am….I may not be living through the trauma, but I’m living through the effects. I know this happened a long time ago, but no one has any idea how this has affected me.
I don’t even remember the last time i was truly happy. Do you know how sad this is? It’s fucked up. I’m sixteen for gods sake. My life should be full of happy memories. And I’m not saying i don’t have good memories, or that i don’t have a good time. But those moments don’t last. I’m good at the moment, but when i find myself alone, it’s a different story.
And what’s worse is that i have to see him everyday. Act as if there’s nothing wrong. It makes me feel like I’m crazy. Like i imagined the entire thing. But i know it happened. I may not have proof, but i was there too, that should be proof enough.
And I can’t say I’m a survivor, because it’s not over for me yet…