I saw you and, somehow, knew it was you. They said you had a common interest with me and, without ever having seen you, I knew you were her. I’m shy and quiet around new people, but I walked right up to you. You talked to me. It was never awkward, because we were both the right amount of awkward. I would see you at practice and wave, not having to wonder if you would wave back. You always did. We would grab lunch together, or work out together or just watch some old movies together. It didn’t matter. As long as I was with you, I felt good inside. I had a friend.
Then, oh, and then, I fell completely in love with you. I may be young, teetering on the brink of adulthood, but I know love when it is engulfing me. I would hold the door for you. I would do anything you asked. I loved to spend time with you – without being needy, of course. We were just perfect for each other. We are just perfect for each other.
But, you don’t see me the way that I see you. You don’t turn around to see me, just one more time, after we have said our goodbyes and parted for the day. You don’t catch a glimpse of me out of the corner of your eye and stare, longing for more.
I will never destroy our friendship; truly, I would rather have some of you than none of you. I realize that I simply cannot have it all. It is for someone else. Someone who will never be me. This thought sends shock waves through my body as if these feelings could literally tear me apart. I love you. I love you but all you want from me is friendship.
You can’t take what I can give; no, you do not want me in the same way that I want, crave, you. You are happy with our friendship; therefore, because I love you more than my needs, this is a letter that I will never send.