• Childhood Love

    by  • July 9, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    Dear Billy,

    Funny to think my fiancee has the same name as you…..

    How old were we? I’m not even sure 10? 11? And yet somehow I think I loved you. I think we were both way too mature for our age maybe that’s why we clicked so easily.

    You introduced me to so many things, kissing, darts, smoking (do remember when my dad caught me? Do you remember when he caught us kissing?) I remember almost everything like it was yesterday. We spent so much time together.

    I remember the little door in the back of the closet that led to the attic it always felt like some magical doorway to me I loved that so much. Do you remember when we were lighting twigs on fire pretending to smoke them? And we didn’t put one out all the way and almost set the whole field on fire?

    I’ll never forget the night you left….
    You told me that you would have to leave soon but you didn’t tell me when or why. I remember waking up one night and looking out my window. There was your whole family moving things onto a truck. I remember crying my eyes out because I knew the next day you’d be gone. I never really got a chance to say goodbye.

    I remember so many of the little things but what hurts the most is that I can’t even remember your face. I wouldn’t even know you if I walked past you. I’ve tried looking you up online and your name comes up with a hundred pictures and I have no idea if any of them are you.

    The first time I went back to our city I went to my old place everything looked such the same. I kept thinking that you would magically appear. I went for walks in all our old spots hoping to run into you. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t. You were gone…

    I wonder if you remember me at all? If you ever think of me, if you ever wonder what became of me, if you’ve ever tried looking for me. It’s been almost 20 years….

    I miss you.


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