• Alana’s wishes

    by  • July 9, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    I just wish things were different. That Madison wouldn’t listen to others. That you would open your eyes to see how much Draven loves and cares about you, and how you’re a fantastic girlfriend. That my dad would realize that I’m a human, not a piece of meat that can jut be beat up whenever and not be hurt or sad. That my baby sister would know to not be sad that I don’t see her, that it’s not her. But me. I wish she would know how much I love and care for her.

    I want her to know that I wish to be with her so badly. I wish my mom would know just how much I love and appreciate her. I just really don’t know how. I wish Larkin would just realize how I feel. I wish he would realize that, yes, I am a human surprisingly and yes, I have feelings and a story. A story I wish he would want to here. But he simply doesn’t care. And I wish I could accept that, and be able to move on. But something is stopping me. Perhaps just because he’s like my dad. I wish all the sad songs in the world would stay in my heart and soul. So I could cry to them whenever.

    And when you see and hear my pain, you feel that exact pain, because that’s how much you care. And knowing that, I feel good about it. Yes, I do. But what I do not understand, is why I can’t see what you see. What others apparently see. How do I make guys want me? Why would you hate someone who has considered killing themself because they thought they were too ugly for everyone else. Why are you jealous of someone who is so lost and insecure? My humor is immature and stupid. My height is something I always wished I coud change, because the person I so call “love” is much much shorter.

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