Ever since i met you, I totally believe everything happens for a reason. A bad thing happen to me, because I was supposed to experience that.. and inevitably meet you. You changed my life in so many ways that you will never know. You gave me confidence and a feeling that no one has ever gave me before. I wish I could still see you every week… but life happens.. things change. I’m glad to have seen you at least once every couple of months. No matter how cliche it might sound, you make me want to be a better person. Everything i do…my thoughts lead to you and i think to myself…would he approve, what would he think?
And when i do see you, i forget all the things i’ve thought about to tell you because i become so nervous. Although, it’s fine because our chemistry is so amazing that we can talk about anything for hours. I love you, no one can know. I love someone I can never be with…at least in this existing judgemental world.
The last time we were together, was crazy. I can’t believe I had you all to myself, it’s great how things work out. I can’t wait to see you again, i think about it everyday.
I don’t care how much older you are than me, all i know is…the feeling inside of me matters much more than stereotypes and social norms. I can go on for hours about why I adore you. You’re tall, handsome, unbelievably funny.. we compliment each other’s humor, charismatic, thoughtful, successful, fit, adventurous, and FASCINATING.
Even if i can never see you everyday, I am overtly happy and satisfied to have had you in my life and hopeful for times in the future. I know i will never meet someone like you, or someone who makes me feel like you do.
I wish i could tell you all these things, but instead i’ll show you in different ways. I never met anyone who made me so excited to see them everyday, and wanna look better and be better. You’re great for me. If you were with me, i’d NEVER take any second with you for granted. You may feel that you are not appreciated, but I’d like you to know, you are the biggest influence in my life.
Sad part, we can’t tell anyone. No one understands, and I’m strong enough to not need anyone’s approval or advice. What I know is that feeling i get when i think about you or see you, is real, it’s rare and it’s addictive.
I firmly believe we have met for a reason, and I sometimes wish I would have met you at a better time…or that I was older…or maybe that you were younger.
I promise myself, i will enjoy the now, i can’t change the limitations that hold us from being together. Although, I will enjoy every second i ever get with you…and savor them in my memory for years to come. I care about you so much, and I look up to what you have done in your years. One day I hope to make you proud.
If i could be with you now, even for a little, here and there…I would be so grateful. In the end, I will always feel this way for you and miss you all the time.
I hope you think about me too…and miss me.
I love you *****…
“we can’t because it will lead to more”
P.S, i know you will never see this.