For years we have talked about dating. We have talk about what would happen after college. We have always said we would be at each other’s wedding, even if it was one in the same. We have always talked about it would happen if the ‘stars aligned’ and if it is ‘what the universe wanted.’ We came oh so close while I was out of the country for four months. And yes, as you have always said, your timing does suck. I know that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but if that is true, then why did you fall for someone else? I know our relationship has always been fucked up to a degree that no one can even begin to understand but us, but every time I hug you and I can’t kiss you, my heart breaks a little bit more.
Since you started dating her, I have found my everything. I have found the one person who understands me more than words can say and who truly brings out the best of me. Even though it’s a ways off, I know you will be at our wedding.
And that day, even though it will be the happiest day of my life, will also be one of the most difficult. You will be there with someone else, who obviously isn’t me. You and I will share a best friend’s dance that we promised each other all those years ago. When I look into your eyes, I’ll see a part of me that has been left with you and feel inside of me a part of you left with me. As we part, it will be the strangest feeling. With an ‘I love you, hearts’ and as always a ‘be good’, there will be an emptiness. A vast hole in my heart that will never be filled. We will keep in contact and always be part of each other’s lives, but never again will I feel the way that you perfectly kiss or be able to act on that ever present sexual tension.
I know the ‘stars never aligned’ and it is not ‘what the universe wanted,’ but at the same token you will always been what I wanted and could never have. I will always love you and there will always be an emptiness inside that only you can fill. You will always be my one who got away.