After everything that has happened between us, why does a part of me (bigger then I’ll ever admit to myself or others) still want you? I still love even though all the shit you pulled, even though you controlled every aspect of my life, even though you hit me…
I still without a doubt love you. I wish I could have you in my life. I find it soo damn hard without you… Waking up beside you every morning… Kissing you… Telling you that I love you and wanting to marrying you someday.
I honestly don’t know how much longer I take of this. I’m going to either have to leave this town or you are ’cause this place has too many memories and I can’t stand it.
People bring up our time together and I wish they’re stop ’cause I hate to remember the happy times, even though at the end they were few and far between. You were the first person I loved and that’s why it hurts so much. I wish you could see the damaged you have caused me and my family. But you don’t care and st times I think you never really did or you wouldn’t have hooked up with my best friend while I was in the hospital for surgery.
I stood up for you all the time to my family, but they saw what you truly were.
But I still love you after all this… Wish I didn’t. It would make life easier for me to move on with. But I can’t seem to… Because of all of what you did to me, I’m on Cipralex, which numbs me. The only easy emotion for me to have in anger when I’m on them.
I wish you could see what you created…
Enjoy your life. And Karma gets you in the end.