• I’m at a Loss

    by  • July 8, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Disappointment • 1 Comment

    I don’t even know where to start. We have been together for almost 4 years now. Broken up twice. Both times were my “fault”. I wanted to spread my wings and see what else was out there. Did I ever take you for granted? I would say yes. But do I regret doing what I did? No… I don’t. I’m four years younger than you… I always say that you have more life experience than me. In your early twenties you were crazy and nuts and a party-man and all that. In my early twenties I spent it in a serious relationship. Do you know how hard that has been? I have wanted to go crazy too, do everything that I’m not supposed to do. Isn’t NOW the time I am supposed to do that anyways? I feel like you got your chance and I never got mine. Now our relationship is a rough terrain that never seems to smooth out. It’s a constant uphill battle. We fight at least once a week. It is always about what I need to improve, what I should change, what I am doing wrong, what I did wrong in the past, etc! It’s crazy. Despite the fighting, I love you so much. I want my future to include you. I want you to be the father of my children. But I feel like I am not enough. I need to be appreciated too. I have appreciated the hell out of you – it’s easy to do since you are such an amazing person. I am more rough around the edges. I wish we could just get past the fighting. It’s not worth all the stress and tears. I’m at a loss. We’re at the place where we either take each others’ hands and move forward, or just call it quits. I’m at a loss.

    One Response to I’m at a Loss

    1. anne
      July 8, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      You need this, for yourself. Don’t be afraid to take it.

      One day, if the time is right and you’re both ready, you might find your way back to one another.

      It’s a horrible thing to always wonder, “what if”.

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