I know you always hold back a lot. You are always in control of your emotions and it bothers you but then you go and convince yourself that it doesn’t. Though now I see why you keep your friends so close, you want them to understand you. You want them to know you and want to get to know you. You want them to push to find out more without prying too much. You want them to understand you the way that you understand them.
My best friend is like that too. Maybe that is why I grew so close to you so easily, because you two are very similar in that manner.
I know that I am not very good at reading people. I know that I am not versatile, pushy, or tentative all the time, but we both know that I tend to empathize well with people in a way where I don’t push too much, I let them talk to me.
Maybe that is why I get to be so close to you, because I don’t push too hard and if I do you understand. I’d like to believe that I have had some impact in your life, but I can never tell.
Mike, I notice things and I think you know. I notice your real smile, your emotions when you let others see it, and the difference between what is fake and what is real for you.
I saw it today. I saw you let yourself be filled with…emptiness. I saw the child mike who really just wants his parents. I saw the child mike who really just wants them to be there emotionally and physically. I saw that sad little kid who wants to so bad be like a normal family who loves each other and shows it. I wanted to hug you mike. I wanted to give you a big hug and say it will all be alright. I wanted to say I am here, we are here and we care.
I saw you hunch and quiet down. I wanted to cry. Please mike, I am here for you. I love you. I don’t love you romantically, but as a friend I do. I can feel those emotions and I want to make you feel better and smile. I want to make the world happier for you so you don’t have to be so fake all the time. I want you to open up a little for me. I want you to know that you can be alright and that you can trust me.