I am so worried about my mental state right now. Every time I go weeks without seeing you, or even talking to you in the slightest, I begin to go crazy. I feel so alone and sad and depressed because I just long for your company. I feel such a pressure on my chest that I have to use every fiber of my being to keep from breaking down and crying in front of my family.
I almost broke down today. I just want to be with you, but I have no idea why it kills me SO MUCH to want that!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!? What is this power you have to just keep me wanting at least some contact with you so badly….? D:
You are in a completely different state right now, and for who knows how long…and I want to die. I can’t call or text you, because that would just be too random and persistent-seeming, because I always feel guilty about it afterwards…especially when you don’t ever respond. Please come back…please come back within reach so that I can talk to you and look into your face. Please come back so I can refill my sanity. Please come back so I can peel off this anxiety and need for your contact.
I just have no fucking idea why on earth I want to be near you so badly…I know I like you, but this if just fucking RIDICULOUS.
Someone help me…please…why do I feel like this? I want to breathe.