• feels more like a death

    by  • July 7, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Forgiveness, Letting Go • 1 Comment

    Dear D,
    I sometimes think it still hurts to not have you in my life anymore. It feels more like a death than a break up.

    I am mourning my childhood, my innocence and my naivety. I know I can’t be mourning you. You are selfish, shallow, self absorbed and stupid really.

    What is there to miss? Nothing, it’s not us I miss, it’s the idea of us.

    I gave everything I could to you. I poured my heart and soul into us, I would have done anything for you. It frightens me to know that.

    I want to thank you for showing me how horrible people can be. Thank you for teaching me to trust no one.

    Everyone makes mistakes in life, and one of my biggest mistakes was letting you into mine. I sincerely hope you can forgive yourself for what you did. I wouldn’t be able to if I had made the mistakes you have in relation to us. I have forgiven myself for believing you were a good person and always defending you.

    I hope one day you realize how painful this has been for me and how badly I would have needed you and frankly still would if you were a good person.

    I can’t wish for this to happen to you. I would never want anyone to go through what I went through, not even you.

    Live your simple life with your fake smiles, shallow friendships and empty mind. Live with you dysfunctional family and your frighteningly odd and shallow beliefs, morals and goals.

    It is better to forgive and forget, I have forgiven you and I want to forget I ever knew you.
    Its not you I mourn, its the part of me that died.

    One Response to feels more like a death

    1. Kayla
      July 7, 2011 at 9:42 pm

      Aww, That was honestly encouraging. I admire your strength and courage. you go ahead!

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