• Crave

    by  • July 7, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Waxing Poetic, Yearning for You • 0 Comments

    You didn’t answer.
    It hurts.
    I broke in half when you didn’t;
    Here I am, another sleepless night
    and all that is running through my mind is you.
    Every day since you left has been a drunken haze.
    The only thing I feel is my heart on the floor in a shattered heap
    I don’t understand why you just can’t answer;
    make me understand.
    Please.
    Somehow he became so much better than me at making you happy
    It isn’t logical that he is right for you.
    I am
    I am right for you.
    He can give you the life everyone else wants you to have, he can give you the life that is easy for you.
    Why
    Just come back to me.
    Just come home.
    Just love me like you used to.
    You didn’t answer and that is all I can think about.
    When I say my life is nothing without you, I think I mean it.
    Every day is just another one I spend wating for you to come back.
    Just come back damnit;
    that is all I am asking.
    Make my world matter again.
    I don’t even know if this is true.
    I know it feels weird with you gone.
    I know I crave your conversation
    That is all I know
    That is all I have
    I wish I could understand it
    I wish I could make it right
    I wish I knew where to go from here
    I am holding on to the wish that I will here from you next week on my birthday.
    My wish will be for you when I lean over that cake, just like the others before it.
    Every moment will be spent waiting to hear from you.
    Every moment will be spent wanting you.
    I crave you like no one before and
    no one after you.
    I watch the clock during these nights and it mocks me.
    I used to not feel
    I used to be numb
    It has always been easier that way
    It has always worked for me.
    Then you decided to come along and make me a real person
    Now it is you that has ripped that away from me;
    again, I am numb.
    I remember that day on your balcony and all those songs-
    the game we played with every single one.
    I felt alive
    I felt right.
    Everything around me is breaking and I have no will to stop it
    I am watching it all fall apart and
    the day you left stings deeper than the deepest wound.
    The way you left is what burns.
    When I think of my flaws it is always you that accepts them
    It is you that welcomes them.
    We had a family
    not a real one
    but we created one in order to make our secret as real as it could be.
    Living in our secret was the most taxing time,
    but you were worth it
    Iggie and Rodger were worth it.
    I would keep that secret with you again a thousand times over.
    You wanted something real and he gave you that.
    We can have that now we
    can be who we always wanted to be;
    what we always wanted to be.
    I have nothing left except to go in circles-
    nothing will come of that.
    Only you can change it
    Only you can save us.
    I have nothing left
    no more fight.
    All I can do is wait for that call.
    Here’s to waiting.

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