• Letting Go

    by  • July 6, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    There is no good way to start this, so here it goes:

    For awhile I thought cheating on you was the best thing I could’ve done for “us.” You had always told me “one for one” and after what you did in the beginning of our relationship, I felt like my retaliation was justified. I tried so hard to be the bigger person but every day that I just sat there and let you go on without feeling what I went through made me sick. And even though you are completely clueless to what I have done, it made me feel better. I still don’t feel bad about it, but now that things are coming to the end, I wish I hadn’t. It’s more of I’m mad at myself to giving in to temptation because I was so pissed off at you. I ruined all the morals we talked about in the beginning. I’m a psychotic jealous wreck but I can’t for the life of me find a way to tell you this without turning you into a “victim.”

    Remember when you said that a relationship is never equal? There will always be one person who loves the other more and that spectrum can shift. I believed you but I didn’t think I’d be the one loving more. So here I sit, hopelessly love sick, watching you fade and pretend like you’re not. I don’t want to come home to you. I don’t want you to meet me at the airport. I don’t want to see you ever again. I wish I could just disappear and throw away this life “we” have like a piece of garbage. Start over, with someone new. Let’s face it, we will never have a clean slate. But damnit babe. I love you

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