have you ever been a lover? been a half of a whole? felt emptiness because they’re not around? felt all alone because they’re all alone? not known what to do with yourself even though everything’s “ok” because they’re so lost? forgotten yourself completely because all you know is that person? i’ve had so many long term relationships, that’s all i know, but never before now could i really say i’ve ever been in love with anyone. i’ve had love for people and family, and god dammit absolutely me pets, but i’ve never been willing to give up me for some one else 10000000%. never have i been truly willing AND WANTING to give and live and be and coexist and love the way that i do with you. you showed me what it is to be a real person. a real human being. to give oneself completely. to love uncontrollably. i just wish you knew who i am today BECAUSE of you and you will never hear me. i wish and hope and long for more than anything in this world that i can even just see you on the street somewhere again in life. or see a movie you produced or directed, or read one of your transcripts, or see a missed call from you, or even answer your drunk phone call again and you remember it this time. i hope more than anything you will be happy someday. it kills me to know i cannot do that for you but it also gives me hope that some one can be for you, what you are for me.