Yup. I cheated.
And it slightly concerns me that I never felt bad about it…
Perhaps it was because deep down I knew I was dating an a**hole and that you deserved it.
Subconsciously, I thought, I was protecting myself from a heartache that would eventually come when our relationship ended (whenever that would be.)
I figured, if I cheated and you were to dump me, at least I wouldn’t feel that I had completely given all myself to you with nothing in return.
I didn’t expect our relationship would last 2 years and then some…
You still don’t know…
But I’ll never tell you.
I’ll never tell you about all you’re friends I hooked up with.
I’ll never tell you how I convinced myself that they treated me better.
I’ll never tell you how used I felt.
I’ll never tell you how unsatisfying it is.
I’ll never admit how much I feel like a slut..