I’m grateful that you’re back in my life. Above all else, I’m grateful. We keep separating and coming back together. I know it’s all my fault. If I had stood up for myself and said “This is what I want” 25 years ago, we could have had a really wonderful life together. Now, we each have our own lives, and they’re good ones – but I’m not complete unless you’re in my life. So I’ll take the pain of knowing you’re with someone else, because I remember what it was like not to be able to talk to you, to see you.
You say you’re not worthy? So many people love you, I wonder what you’re doing with me. You say you’re damaged? I’m broken. I had just started putting myself back together when you sent me that message. Your timing couldn’t have been better. But I’ll take the joy and the pain in equal measures because it’s better than not feeling anything at all. When you look at me like that, when you smile, or wink at me, all the bad stuff goes away and the world is bright and shiny again.
I’m standing here at a crossroads and I don’t know which way to go. I know what I want – I want you – just you, the way you are. But I also want someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.
So I will focus on being grateful for the time that we do have together. But, if you think there is any kind of a future for us, I’ll fight for it. I’ll fight like hell.
Because I love you.