never did i expect to love you as much as i do. it’s funny, hysterical actually how we all really want an adorable love story maybe even with some tribulations and tough times that you miraculously get through and make you stronger and closer. unfortunately they never warn you how much it’s actually gonna hurt. maybe i’m just young. okay i know i’m just young. and maybe i’m naive. but it’s unbelievably hard. i’m so sorry. i’m sorry there was no one before you to prove to me that there’s no one else out there for me but you. i’m sorry i have no idea if we’re gonna get married. i’m so sorry that i just would like to enjoy the time we have now. the amazing times we have together. i wish you’d realize i’m not always going to be here. you’re selfish! i can’t just wait for you to be ready for me. you’re gonna regret it. you have to realize i am my own person too. and i can’t just wait here! things will be different. i will find someone else! that’s my point. that’s my whole point. i’ve gone crazy michael. and i can not handle you not with me and my way of coping will be the natural find someone new. no one will ever replace you. ever. but someone, hopefully, will treat me better. and be there for me. and he’ll be a d bag. and you’d never approve. and i’ll always wish you never let me go. but i’ll love him. and get along with him. and be comfortable and happy and laugh and cry with him. and that’s my biggest fear too. god damn i was dumb. but everything happens for a reason. right? and if we’re meant to be we’re meant to be. i just wanted it to be the way we knew. maybe you’re just an idea. and that’s why i can’t i wait for you. because i don’t want you i want our relationship. i want the happy seven years. and a million infinity after. and that’s my second biggest fear. either way i’ll miss it. you. us. something i’ll miss. but i’ll learn and grow. it’ll be fine mike. we’ll be fine. together or apart. you’re still my best friend. i just wish you’d realize what you’re letting leave you.