I think i’m finally to the point where i can move on. I can look at you as a person with flaws. I don’t mask all of your faults with your humor, and looks, and your personality that i thought matched perfectly to mine. Why did you lead me on like that? If you didn’t like me, why drag me on? Why take me out, why kiss me? Why take me to prom? Why did you have to look at me that way, tell me those things, and hold me the way you did that night. I turned you into something you never were. I turned us into something we never were. I turned you into a good guy, someone who actually cared.
I’ve gotten used to people leaving now. Everyones going off to college, trying to make a new life for themselves. I hope that people see you for what you are. I hope those girls tear you apart. But mostly i hope that they are smarter than me, and run as fast as they can.
You never call anymore. You said you would. I haven’t heard from you in over 2 weeks. did i change? did you? i hope you don’t call because i know that i can’t be strong. I’ll let you come and pick me up, ring my doorbell and walk me to your car. I’ll laugh and smile and pretend everything is fine. Why do i want to please you so much? i’ll never know. I want to think that it’s hard for you not to call me, that you’re fighting the urge to pick up the phone. it’s probably not true. But it helps. Why don’t you miss me? am i not smart enough? not skinny enough? not your type?
please leave. And if we ever see each other again, tell me you missed me. Because i don’t think that i could stand the truth.