• Dear boy I used to love

    by  • July 4, 2011 • Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    You will never read this. I kinda wish you would though. Well anyways I want you to know I love you. I always have and I always will. You were pretty much my first love. When we were together it was maybe some of the best times of my life. It killed me that we broke up back in February. It tore me apart. I held my composure in front of all my friends when I got the text saying that we needed to talk. I knew it was coming. Things were just not right. You didn’t even have the decency to call me or even wait until I got home from my friend’s house. You broke up with me right there in a text message. You even put it on Facebook as you were doing it. That hurt pretty bad. I was more angry than upset. We still tried to be friends though but that didn’t turn out well. Your ex was making it even worse for me. She was a bitch. You then deleted me from Facebook like that was going to help. I burned your jacket. You deserved it. You even deserved the pictures my best friend sent you of it. You deserved my friend peeing on it to put the fire out. You were an asshole to me even when I did nothing but try to make things work. You deserved all the shit I put you through as revenge.

    I had every right to say that I hated you, but I didn’t. I still loved you. You were addicting. I didn’t want to let you go. I didn’t think there could be anyone who could make me feel the way you did when we were together. I just wanted to hold on. Maybe one day you would come back. I held on until May. I started to get over you. Then here you came in the beginning of June saying you missed me. I always told myself I’d take you back in a heartbeat and that is exactly what I did. We were back together for a month then broke up again because you are going to Florida for college. The night you told me that I cried my eyes out. I stayed awake all night just crying. Just knowing that we will never have a chance again to make things right hurt pretty bad. I’ll be sitting here in Texas still in high school for two more years while you are in Florida in college.

    I don’t think you realize that I think about you all the time. You irritate me a lot. You act like everything is about you sometimes and I don’t get hurt. You blocked me from seeing your facebook wall. Wtf was that for? I talked to you a few times since then. You never gave me reasons. I cried again when I saw that. I just decided to delete you all together from Facebook. There is no point of it. I miss you though. I don’t want anyone else to have you. I don’t even really care that you are a few states away from me, I want you to be mine and not around other girls. I know I can’t keep you from that though. What is a little junior in high school against college girls?

    Yeah this is just a lot of random stuff that is going through my mind when I think about you. I used to sit on facebook with your chat open deciding if I want to message you or not. It kills me. You have driven me insane. You have hurt me so much but I still want you. This just sucks. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I never met you but I don’t think my life would be the same. I became closer with some of my friends because of you. So I guess I am glad you did some pretty shitty things. I just wish things would be good between us like they were in October through January. That would be awesome if we could go back to that. I know it can’t though. Oh well. Oh by the way you will notice me if it is the last thing you do. Look at one of your “best friends” relationship status. Oh who is he married to? ME. Ha. Have a nice life in Florida.

    The girl you use to love
    PS. “I love juice”

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