• you broke me

    by  • July 3, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    Hey Tim,

    It really sucks that you’ll never know how you made me feel, and you’ll never know how it still hurts to think of you, and you’ll never know what you did to me.

    You broke me, Tim. And I’m still broken. You broke my heart. You didn’t just break it… you shattered it. And now I’m not sure where it is. I have all these feelings, but I don’t know what to do with them or if they’re even real.

    I miss you. I wish I didn’t, but I do. All these songs still remind me of you. Things people say or do or things I see still remind me of you. I remember how much it would hurt when you would do something uncaring or cold. And it hurts just as much as it did then.

    I know that I hurt you when I dumped you. Or when I was mean. But what else could I do? I fell in love with this sweet, amazing boy, and he didn’t do anything. He didn’t seem to care. He didn’t want me, and he didn’t have to work for me. And he took me for granted. That boy was YOU, Tim. And you still don’t care. You didn’t have the decency to say sorry. You don’t have the decency to speak to me.

    You act like I broke your heart. But how could I break something I never had, Tim?

    You didn’t even ask why when I dumped you. You didn’t say a fucking word. I never got the chance to tell you how I feel. I never got the chance to let you see what you did to me. They all say I’m a heartbreaker. They say I’m a maneater. But I didn’t hurt you. I didn’t break your heart. You broke mine. You ripped it from my chest, and just held on to it. You put it in a drawer and forgot about it. You would take it out occasionally, and play with it, before forgetting again. And I think you still have it.

    So Tim… can you bring my heart out from that drawer please? And can you come to me, face to face, apologize, and give it back? See.. I need it. There’s someone else who deserves it more, even if he doesn’t want it. And I need to remember what it’s like to feel something.

    Because I cut myself. I get all numb inside. And I need to feel something. So I feel pain. And it’s your fault. Wake up from your dreamy little life, and be the knight in shining armor that I needed before. I hate to say it, but I still need you. Just save me from this endless pain. Before I’ve sunk too deep and can’t feel a thing. Please Tim… give me what I deserve from you.

    Love, me

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