• oh these games

    by  • July 3, 2011 • Betrayal • 0 Comments

    dear kids,

    you’re supposed to be my friends. you were all the ones i told about my feelings. bestie i told you from day one. friend, i introduced you to him. boy i’ve told you how i feel so many times… and this is all just a joke to all of you! to you guys i don’t have any feelings, i’m a big fat joke that over reacts about everything.

    let’s get one fucking thing straight. i am NOT the weaker person for this.

    holly – you are a straight up bitch. oh maybe not on purpose, but you don’t know what you want, and pretend that you do, and reel in every guy you set your eyes on and ruin their lives. you think it’s funny or cute that you’re playing with their feelings? it’s disgusting. this is the fourth one, but this time it’s personal because i like.. no, love him.

    BESTIE – you are so immature i can’t even believe i put up with you for this long. everythings a big joke to you. “omg chantelles crying, hahahah why are you crying? everyone can see you” maybe i was crying because my best friend was hitting on the guy she KNEW i liked at grad. also i was drunk. you’re still a bitch.

    boy – how many times have i told you i can’t talk to you because i know we’re friends but how many times can i hear about her playing you? and you still liking her? i can’t do it, i get so jealous. and everytime to you it’s a joke. well i’m sick and tired of this. how am i supposed to take something like this?

    (after grad, super drunk. ignored boy all night. cried because of boy)

    boy: Sooo
    me: i know
    me: i’m a wreck i’m a mess i’m an idiot and i overreacted
    boy: Reason why you told me to get the fuck away from you?
    me: ridiculously embarrassed?
    boy: Kinda upset
    me: about me? please
    boy: That you wouldn’t hug me for a final time or say bye? Yeah I am. That and you avoided me all night.
    me: you don’t understand.
    me: it’s like i like you so much. i look at you and my heart stops beating because how can i like you so much and you not feel the same way?
    me: honestly if i cut my feelings in half for you, so you liked me for the other half we’d be soooo happy. but you’ll only be happy with holly and she will never be happy and i hate her SO much
    me: except i don’t
    me: because if you were happy with her, i’d be happy… i don’t know


    “she wouldn’t even take a picture with me. you think i don’t know how you feel?”

    there was more but that’s the short version . are you fucking SERIOUS. i poured my heart out to you and you complain about her not taking a picture with you? fuck

    fuck this. i graduated i don’t need to see these people ever again. except this isn’t a movie. it’s not clean cut.
    and i didn’t write this letter for these kids who play these games, i wrote it for me.

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