While going through my high school journal, I stumbled upon a few entries that were dedicated to you and a series of events that I don’t even know what to think about them. I need to apologize. I hurt you and made a foolish mistake. I was young, I wasn’t sure how to deal with the fact that someone could actually like me for who I was. I was so used to living in the shadows of my girlfriends that the fact that someone put on their sunglasses to look past them caught me off my guard. I was an blubbering and bumbling ass.
This all got me thinking: If I had not foolishly broken things off with you so early, would we be the same people we are today? Did that one small event change our course? Had we continued on with each other, would we have turned out to be the people that we are today? You, the handsome rebel, and me, the girl who wishes to live closer to the edge? We could have fed off each other, I think, and have grown into different people.
I would say that everything I’m thinking is odd, but I’ve come to learn that there really is no such thing as odd. Instead, what we are presented with is not odd but an unusual path compared the road that we are used to traveling. As weird as it may be, you do still cross my mind once in a blue moon like when I see a picture or a status you post. I wonder what you’re up to and what you’re thinking and the movies you think are funny or what the last good book you read was. I also wonder if things have changed so much that you and I can’t ever be friends again. Something really deep down is telling me that there are some things that time, friends, drinking, drugs or influences can’t change. And those are the things that we had in common. I mean, we were able to come back together in senior year for a very short period of time and some of Life’s influences had already started to weigh heavily on both of our lives, not the same influences, but they were certainly there.
Can it be?