It’s not because you’re a mean drunk. Or that you hit me or anything like that. You don’t even get drunk. You drink responsibly and with cautious moderation. You usually only have one beer.
But it scares me so much.
I don’t even know why. I’ve never had a bad experience with alcohol. Nobody in my family drinks excessively. All I know is that the thought of alcohol touching the lips you use to kiss me makes my stomach churn. When I watched you drink that one glass of wine on your birthday, I wanted to cry. It just felt so wrong.
I can’t even tell you the full extent of my aversion for fear of scaring you away. I can’t explain my fears. And even if I could, we have a relationship that leaves each of us free to make our own choices. You’re doing nothing wrong. I don’t want you to feel guilty just because I have a fear that makes no sense. I love you too much for that.
I just wish I could understand why I feel this way.