• I can try

    by  • July 3, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I realise that at times…. at times the friction between us is like clawing at walls.  That I don’t give, and you won’t take, and I love you’s are said on passing as if we fell into the habit and forgot why.

    Yes, yes i’m angry at you.  Every day.  I can’t escape those choices you made that effect me.  I’m angry at myself, too.  I don’t like looking at you with words screaming behind my motionless lips.  I feel a traitor to my own soul.  Uncomfortable in my own skin.

    Often, I have thought the simple solution is turning away… or pulling you closer… or telling you exactly how to live your existence like I would have the answers that could change the world.  The world is harsh, and people all look inward more than they notice you tripping behind.  I often catch myself so caught up in the storm that constantly brews behind my eyes… I only just catch the disappointment in yours.  And once again I missed something important that could have changed it all.

    I can cry silently, crumpled on the bathroom floor to stop me from falling any further.  I can cry for hours.  And in the end I will still pick myself up and turn back to you.  Because honestly, when I see our clothes entangled together on the floor I know that perfection is not what I should be expecting or looking for.  Safety and comfort and understanding, I already have with you.  And always will.  If you can love me with unquestioning determination, then I can love you with so much more.

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