• You’ll never know that only I know you best

    by  • July 2, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 0 Comments


    I wonder if you ever stop to actually think of us anymore, now that you’ve got her. She’s a thousand miles away, but you don’t seem to mind. I’m surprised. You told me you didn’t believe in long distance relationships, you told me that you were being logical and that my ldr boyfriend and I won’t last. How could you? Who were you to interfere in our relationship?

    I miss you, it’s been so long since we met. It used to be almost everyday. I wish you loved me more than he did, though. But I knew you never could. But you knew me well, there’s no doubt, but not enough for me to leave my boyfriend for you. There’s one thing you’ll never fully understand-I know you best, and I always will. You’re always so closed and so distanced from everyone around you. You never want to open up because that way, others can take advantage of you easily. You know that I will never do that to you, and you can still trust me, even though you hurt me so badly.

    That night, you told me you trusted me and it’s hard for you to open up like that to others, and that you’ve never done something like that before. We talked for hours til the daylight. It was special, and I know I’ll never forget that night. You know, what we had, you’ll never have it with anyone else. I know you best, J, and there is no way you can deny it.
    You found another girl right after you distanced yourself from me, and it was a girl a thousand miles away. Then you forgot about her and moved on to another one. Honestly, I did expect something like this to happen, J. But I wish I knew your heart better, I wish we both knew your heart better, because you don’t use much of it. You managed to become the first guy, who never became my boyfriend, who broke my heart. I thought about you for days on end. I shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t control it. You’re the most logical man I have ever known.

    I know you best, but there’s 1 thing I’ll never know. Do you still remember?

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