I posted this as a response to a letter on here, but I hope by posting it as a letter it will be seen and help more people. Because I wish I was able to read this after my very painful break-up awhile ago:
TRUST ME it WILL get less and less painful, until finally you will smile and laugh without thinking about him and what he is doing. You will remember the good times and smile because you are glad to have those happy memories. You will remember the bad times and the pain, and feel a bit sad for yourself because you had to go through that. But you won’t FEEL it anymore. Until then, let family, friends and music help heal you, help get you through. Find a friend who is willing to listen to you talk your head off. You should do some reflecting to learn valuable things from this experience, not right now maybe but when you feel ready. I think you’ll eventually realize and understand why you can not and should not be with him.
At the time you think he is only guy for you, that life is unimaginable without him. But that isn’t true! We have the ability to love so many people. Sometimes I feel a little sad and miss the feeling of being in love. But if I thought THAT was amazing, then when I find the right guy, one that treats me right and that I can trust– well, it must feel absolutely incredible.
Definitely stop communicating with him until that feeling that you want/need/eventually will be with him goes away. I know how hard it is. So just keep trying. Don’t try to rush friendship. It will make things harder.
And yes he meant all those things. You are beautiful, funny, and loveable. Don’t doubt it.
If someone told me all of these things 6 months ago when I was crushed by the end of a four year relationship with a guy I thought I would marry someday, I don’t think I would have believed it. But I wish someone would have told me anyway. It is very, very true. Just keep being strong. You’ll be just fine:)